Thursday, November 12, 2009

Headaches & A Tragedy

We had a scare earlier this week. My brother Dusty had a pretty bad headache. Before you think "A headache??? That's it? No big deal." actually, for him it kinda is. Several years ago, when he was still a pip-squeak and not taller than me, he was at my Dad's and he was involved in a 4-wheeler accident. He was thrown off and hit his head. At first he seemed to be okay, only some scrapes on his head (his hair was cut really short then), but he was acting sort of off. It wasn't any one thing in particular that made my Dad and step-mom think there was something wrong, but there was just this feeling that he wasn't quite himself. My Dad has a friend who is an EMT and he called him to ask him what he thought. He suggested taking him to the hospital because you really don't want to play when it comes to head injuries.

So, they took him to their local hospital (personally, I wouldn't want to be taken there for a broken finger let alone a head injury) and they ran some tests. What they saw was bad enough to try to have him air-lifted to the medical university an hour away. The medi-vac was out transporting another patient so they put him in an ambulance and sent him on. When he arrived at the MU, they confirmed that he did indeed have a bleed on his brain and they would need to perform emergency surgery to cauterize the bleed. The surgery was a success but Dusty had to remain in the hospital for several days. The scar left behind reaches from the top of his left ear to the top of his head.

So, for Dusty to have headaches is kind of a big deal for our family. Normal everyday headaches are expected but he was becoming dizzy and nautious. So on to the ER they went. Fortunately he was seen quickly and a CT scan was performed. Everything appeared to be normal and they treated him for a migraine. So, we are all very relieved, but once I share a little tidbit of information with Dusty, I don't think he'll be too pleased.

You see, severe migraines run in our family. And lucky for Dusty and I, it runs in the family on our Dad's side AND our Mom's side. Our Nanny has terrible cluster migraines. Our Mom has terrible migraines and my poor little (I say little but she is nearly a grown woman now) cousin began having them a few years ago. And we're not talking just your run-of-the-mill migraines. These migraines are bad enough to put me on my ass. They are light-sensitive, noise-sensitive, pressure-sensitive, make your vision blurry, make you dizzy and nautious, and make you forget your name sort of migraines. They ARE NOT fun. And Dusty is at the age now when I started to get them pretty bad and very frequently. I do feel for the child. Poor kid.

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Also, some bad news was delivered to me via a phone call last night. My cousin's ex-husband took his own life with a high-powered rifle earlier this week. Because we live an hour away from our families, I had not yet heard about it. My aunt called me last night because she wasn't sure if anyone had bothered to contact me. You see, the town I am from is very small and everybody knows everybody and in some way everybody is related to everbody, pretty much. This man that took his life was married to my cousin only a few short years ago, he is the cousin of my aunt's husband, and he was dating a girl I went to high school with. So I did know him well enough but I hadn't spoken to or seen him since he and my aunt separated.

It is a terrible tragedy for everyone involved...but I just don't get it. I don't want to speak ill of the dead but I don't understand what in the world could be so bad that you feel you are forced to take your own life. It is the coward's way out. You aren't a strong person by doing such things. You are weak, plain and simple. I feel so sorry for his family that he left behind, especially the little girl who called him Daddy even though she wasn't his biologically. There is more to the story that makes it even more horrible and devastating, but I do not feel it appropriate to divulge it here. Let's just say I do have reason to suspect that he was a bit unstable (aside from the obvious instability of committing suicide).

My heart hurts for this family. I can't imagine what my cousin, my old friend from school and her daugther, his mother, and all of his relatives and close friends are going through. I do wish them all peace and healing as the days pass.

Even though you do not know this family, would you please include them in your prayers today?


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8 comments:

Jenna said...

Wow Your brother is lucky he came away from the 4-wheeler wreck ok. I know many people who have been killed in 4-wheeler accidents.

Sucks about the migraines though! I have them too (though they are ususally hormone induced) and have the most awesome medicine in the world that knocks them out!

I will keep the family in my prayers, I understand what it is like loosing someone who takes their own life. You have so many questions...

Hope your day goes well!!

Jenna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Cole said...

Migraines run in my family too, so I know how horrible they can be.

I'm glad that Dusty is ok, and while I'm sure he didn't want to go to the hospital - it's better safe than sorry.

My prayers are with the family.

Katie said...

what a sad post, hun :( but thanks for sharing this way we can lift your brother up in your prayer and the family that lost a loved one. How sad. Suicide is so scary.

PS: I used to have migraines allllll the time (yup--run in the family), and ever since i've been pregnant, I'm headache free. Weird, because I have EVERY other symptom in the book!

Dory and the Mama said...

Sorry about all the badness. We will hold your brother and your cousin and family in our prayers!!

sprinkles said...

That accident with Dusty is scary! Glad he came away ok.

Sorry to hear about the migraines. I get them too on occasion. I always hate the next day when it's gone and I still feel sick.

I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin's ex-husband. I've tried to commit suicide in the past and wasn't successful so I can completely understand how he felt. Luckily I'm past that now but it was a very dark place to be!

Heather said...

First off, I'm SO glad your brother is okay! Phew!

And I will absolutley keep that mans family in my thoughts. Suicide is never an easy thing to deal with & it leaves so much unsaid & just too many unanswered questions to make it fair for those left here. I do feel for them & will keep them in my thoughts.

Kelsey @ Seattle Smith's said...

Absolutely praying for these families!